Sunday, 3 February 2008

Sad and scared

Ok, as this is Echo's blog really and I don't like to bore people with my personal life, I will keep this short. I'm going through a bit of a rough time at the moment, as of yesterday, when my boyfriend decided to break up with me. This is a little difficult, as I have obviously just moved Echo to her new yard and neither of us have really settled in yet. My immediate thought was that I have to get Echo back to her old yard for a bit, just so I have some stability and can go away for a couple of days if I need to. It would also enable me to take my dog to the yard with me as his daily exercise, rather than having to walk him separately, as the new yard doesn't allow dogs anymore.

The problem (there are lots of them) is clearly money. I moved her in the first place because I couldn't afford it there. Now that I am facing it all on my own, I don't know if I can do DIY at the moment. I'm just not sure that I can do everything and piece back together the shattered bits of my life. For example, I really just want to go home and see my Mum for a couple of days as soon as I break up for half term, but because of Echo being on DIY that is going to be so hard to arrange - if possible at all.

A couple of friends have offered to pay for her to be at the old yard for a couple of months, until I get myself sorted out, but I don't know about after that. I don't know if it's massively unfair to Echo to keep lugging her about, disrupting her routine. She doesn't feel settled yet and I am definitely not settled at the new yard yet. I'm sure it would get better, but right now, when I'm trying to organise moving out and finding somewhere new to live and getting myself together, I could really do with at least Echo being secure and settled.

I really don't know what to do...about anyhing. Obviously I'm still feeling emotional and hurt by it all, so should not rush into big decisions, but the thought of teaching all week, and doing Echo on my own and organising moving, is very scary right now. So if I don't post for a little while- it's not that I've forgotten you all!

15 comments:

Barokko said...

Oh, I'm so sorry :(

Do you have any horsey friends who could help take care of her, so you could get away just for a few days?

I wouldn't worry about how she'd take the move back if that were what you ended up doing, it's so soon after the move that she'll still recognize it and feel at home right away. If you had just taken her to a clinic for a week you wouldn't be worrying about how she'd take the move back home afterward, right?

When I had Barokko boarded at EGE I rode back him to MAK a couple of times just for a weekend. He seemed perfeclty comfortable both places, and didn't react at all stressed about going back and forth like that.

Sounds like you have some good friends who are there for you when you need it the most - that's what friends are for :)

Hugs from Barokko & me

dressagemom said...

I'm sorry to hear you're going through a tough time right now. I don't have any advice on if you should move Echo or not. Except follow what your gut tells you.

Hang in there!

Maat said...

Sorry to hear this :(

About moving Echo back...
I know we all love our horses and want what is best for them, but if we don't take care of our selves first, how can we take care of them?

many hugs from me and Odin!

Rachel said...

Sz first, Echo second. She is a horse, a precious horse, but you cannot take care of her if you are unable to take care of yourself.

If you went on hols, she would be looked after by someone else. Take that option now. She won't mind moving about a bit and having someone else feed and whatever else is needed for a week or so.

Big hug. xxxx

Wiola said...

Oh dear, I am really sorry too :(
I've just lost my main job which is bad but it's much less emotional than having your life turned upside down on the relationship front.
I would definitely arrange for Echo to be looked after by your friend(s) so you can go and see yor mum. Echo will be fine, she needs you to feel as well as possible.
If I were you I would probably borrow some money, put her back on full livery and do whatever you need to do to get back on your feet.
More virtual hugs from me and all the horses over here!
W.x

Grey Horse Matters said...

Sorry to hear about your troubles. Even though they may seem insurmountable now, in the long run everything will work out for the best. Given time, problems and worries take care of themselves and remember things usually happen for a reason. In time I am sure much better opportunities will come along.
For now Echo doesn't care where she is, and at this time you do need to take care of yourself. It is wonderful that you have good friends to help you out when you are feeling at your lowest. Do what you feel is best for yourself right now, and it will be good for her too. All my best to you and Echo.:)

Nuzzling Muzzles said...

Just offering a different perspective here... Horses are great healers. Throw yourself into spending time with Echo. You might meet someone while out who is at the yard every day taking care of her horse and can relieve you for a few days so you can take that trip to see your mother. At any rate, keep busy, cry all you need to, but don't think too much. Take care.

Echo said...

Thank you all for your support and advice. I still haven't decided exactly what to do yet, but things are becoming a little clearer. I am going to go to my parents' house for a few days, then come back and 'sort' things. Someone at the yard has offered to do Echo for me for the weekend: very grateful!!

Grey Horse Matters said...

Hi Echo,
Stop by Grey Horse Matters and pick up your award! It might cheer you up.

Rising Rainbow said...

Sorry to hear that you are having a hard time. Like others have said, you must take good care of yourself to be able to take good care of your horse, so take a break if you need it. she will be there when you come back.

thepowerguides said...

Ask someone to look after her for a few days , she will be fine and even better when you have been home to mom for what moms do best love, caring and cuddles ,

Moms do not have the answers to life the universe and everything but what they do have is a shoulder to lean on and cry on and can share your pain

steve

dressagemom said...

I tagged you, but not for the seven things meme but for a different one. Check out my blog for details.

I hope things are going better for you. Take care.

EquineSpirit said...

((HUGS!!))

Victoria Cummings said...

I'm sorry you're going through this. Maybe I can offer a stranger's perspective. When my first husband walked out on me, I was in a panic and felt like the world was ending. But I wouldn't have my present husband, my daughter or my horses if he hadn't left, and my life is so much better and richer for it. So, you never know what lies ahead. Just stay in the moment and meet each challenge as it comes. Your friends and family want to help, so accept their gifts. And Echo will give you the love and strength you need.

Beth said...

I am in almost the same spot...broke up with boyfriend (fiance actually), but we are living together and have been for some time. I do have to find somewhere else to live, but with three dogs, its difficult.

I have moved Sam three times in Three months. He took it fine. He settled in each place nicely. The place he is at now, I trust completely and will stay there for as long as I can.

Do what is right for you and what makes you feel the most settled.

Good luck!

Daily adventures while training my young horse.